Why do I homeschool my kids so young?

After writing yesterday's post about it being an "off-day," I felt the need to clarify something.  I realized that I could come off as a seriously neurotic and controlling or perfectionistic mother.  I have a four-year-old and a two-year-old.  I know I don't need to be doing homeschool yet.  And trust me, we have had plenty of truer "off-days" than the one I described yesterday.

We have had days (particularly sick days) when we haven't done a thing, days when we DID watch TV all day long and I didn't lift a finger to do any chores or encourage any learning at all.  For me, those same days turn out to be the days when I feel the most anxiety.  Those are the days that I am least patient and loving with my girls.  Those are the days that my children argue more and listen less.  And those are the days when I come away feeling absolutely awful about myself.  I try REALLY hard to avoid days like that, but less because I'm concerned about living out some idealistic life and more because I just can't stand the way I or our home feels at the end of it.

Again, for the sake of clarity, why do I homeschool my four-year-old instead of waiting until a more "normal" age?  Because my personality is such that if we weren't officially homeschooling, I would still be looking for intentional activities to do with the girls; things to keep us occupied and busy and make me feel productive; things that allowed us to work together and interact and draw closer in our relationships.  So, for me, it just makes sense to let those activities be school centered.  Why not, when I'm going to be putting forth all this effort anyway?

The key is that we don't keep pursuing any course that is adding stress or straining our relationship.  It requires a sort of nonchalance about what we do and when and how.  I keep general goals in mind and then use all my creative and persuasive powers to make it desirable and fun.  If I really badly want to read a chapter of The Secret Garden, but no matter what I say R isn't interested, I drop it.  If we are working on handwriting and I feel myself losing patience, I take a step back and change my approach, or else bag it altogether for the day.  There are no requirements here, no necessary bench-marks.  Everything we do is extra!

Why is homeschooling ideal in terms of flexibility?

Today was a quieter homeschool day for us.  In accordance with my goals we still did just a little bit of reading, a little bit of writing, and a little bit of math, (more math than anything else because that's what R seems to prefer right now.)  Other than that we mostly just played, went to the library, and had friends over.  It was a nice break, a needed "day off."

This is one of the things that I absolutely LOVE about homeschooling.  I love that it follows my schedule instead of all the pressure that can come with having to follow the school system's schedule.  I love the flexibility.  I love that when baby brother is born in a few months, I'll be able to take a full month off in the middle of winter without any guilt or negative consequences.  This is possible in part because R and C are still so young, but also because we do school six days a week year round.  We don't take regular breaks on weekends and over summers.  Why would we, when homeschool is almost as natural as breathing?

Even on days like today when I feel like I've taken a break, (mainly because there was far less intentional teaching done on my part,) we still had our gospel lesson over breakfast and multiple conversations about informative things in addition to our reading, writing, and math.  We talked about what cemeteries are, what gills are for, and how the sun helps plants to grow.   We also covered issues such as sharing, taking care of our bodies, and not watching too much TV.  And this was on an off day!  :D

I guess you could say that my "off days" are just days when we slip into more of an unschooling methodology for a bit.  The unschooling theory is essentially that life will naturally lead you to the things you need know.  Now, I don't subscribe to this method entirely, but it certainly has it's merits.  I believe in child-led learning to a point.  I believe that my girls will retain those things that they are interested and completely invested in better than those things that are forced upon them.  Accordingly, I try to take full advantage of their curiosity and passions.  But, in addition, I feel it absolutely necessary for some things to be introduced into their line-of-sight which will hopefully lead them to show interest in a greater variety and depth of topics.

Today was an unschooling day for us though, and it worked.  I feel like both R and C got the attention they needed along with plenty of intellectual stimulation.  Any day that we don't spend glued to screens for eight hours or more counts as a success in my book.  ;)

How do you make writing fun for young ones?

One of my longer term goals for this fall was to get R more comfortable with writing.  There's no great rush; I feel no need to drill her or get her handwriting to any certain level.  For me it's all about creating a regular habit of writing at least a little every day.  It's about familiarity and comfort in doing something she'll be doing for the rest of her life.

We've had a hard time with handwriting when I've tried it in the past though.  I think this was because I really just didn't know how to approach it.  I have a lot of handwriting paper with the colored solid and dotted lines, so I think I was a little overanxious about getting her to write all of her letters just so.  But whenever I attempted it with her, it turned into a bit of a battle.  She ended up bored, and I frustrated.  So I gave us a bit of a break this last week.

In planning for this week, I decided to revisit writing and this time I brainstormed a little about ways to make it fun.  (I actually have to keep reminding myself that I have four-year-old and not to expect so much!)  So here were the ideas I came up with, two of which we tried with great success today:

• Make a treasure hunt for Daddy using sticky notes
• Write back and forth to each other instead of talking for fifteen minutes
• Copy words or sentences from books or movies around the house
• Start a Christmas wish list
• Write notes or letters to friends or family members
• Create labels for items around the house
• Make a menu for dinner

I'm sure I could think of more if I took the time; this was just my quick brainstorm list.  The point is that before I can do anything effectively with the girls, they have to really want to do it.  I'm left with the option to either follow their fancies, or inspire them to fancy my goals.  ;)

How do you inspire your child to read the classics?

I have begun to read The Secret Garden aloud to the girls this week.  I have read a few longer books to them before: The Wind in the Willows, Little House in the Big Woods, The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, etc.  I feel like this has been good for them on multiple levels.  They learn patience for a long drawn-out story versus the short quick ones they get in picture books.  They gain valuable moral lessons from higher quality literature.  They get exposure to a wider vocabulary.  And probably most important to me right now, they get in the habit of being read to every day.

I don't require their full-attention; I don't expect them to sit still or look at the words with me.  But I do expect them (especially R) to listen.

I make it fun and engaging. I stop and talk a lot, asking questions and making sure R is following the story line or drawing out the most important lessons.

When we last read, we got to the part of the book where (if you're familiar with the story) Martha's mother, a very poor mother of twelve children, out of the sweet goodness of her heart buys Mary a jump-rope with the little money she has.  She doesn't personally know Mary.  Martha is Mary's friend but also her maid, and Mary is the remarkably wealthy and spoiled child who lives with her uncle in a mansion.  But she is orphaned and lonely, and Martha's mother feels compassion for her and her situation.

I was so touched by this part of the story.  Granted, it is just a story.  But the truth is that there are people out there like this, who sacrifice every day for others even though they themselves are in need. What a great lesson in Christlike love.

Did R fully grasp it?  I don't know. Probably not.  But maybe, just maybe, our reading classic books together every day will cultivate a desire within her to read classic books on her own someday which will unlock the door to a wealth of equally wonderful moral lessons to be learned.

Mixing Colors Experiment

R is fascinated with mixing colors lately for some reason.  We've done lots of online games to learn about which colors mix to make other colors, but the other day I finally pulled out the big guns and did some real-life hands-on learning.  We just filled some mugs with water, put a bunch of drops of food coloring into each and then used a dropper to experiment away. She loved it.  :)

Why do you write this blog?

I have worried a little about writing this blog.  It's a place where I get to expound on my beautiful life and bountiful blessings, but I am very aware that not everyone enjoys the same blessings I do.  Some may long to be married or desire to have children but haven't had the opportunity.  Some, as much as they wish to be with their children all day long, are working or going to school and just trying to get by.  Some may be home with their children but are feeling inadequate in their ability to cope with the multitude of responsibilities which are theirs.  The variety of circumstances vary as much as we as women do.

The reason I decided to blog despite this knowledge and the possibility that others may find my writing offensive is best expressed in my experience with Pinterest.

I first became acquainted with Pinterest at a time in my life when I was struggling with post-partum depression and was simply surviving my life as a stay-at-home-mom.  I hated that, because I knew that I was supposed to be experiencing the life I had always dreamed of; I wanted to be thriving, not just surviving.

When I discovered Pinterest, it was as if someone had turned on a light in my mind. I discovered that there was a whole world of ideas and that had never occurred to me before.  I felt inspired and motivated to make my life richer by applying the things that I was learning, by being more creative and experimental.  Though I can't say it fixed my depression, it definitely had an impact.  I was surprised when I learned that many women have a hard time with Pinterest because of the unrealistic expectations they feel like it creates.  To me it's all about perspective.  I feel no pressure to do every interesting thing I see, but I can let the ideas wash over me and inspire me to be and do more within my own capacity and circumstances.

That's what I hope for with this blog:  that other moms will read with an understanding that all of our lives our beautiful and rich in different ways, and come away with a greater desire and capacity to beautify and enrich their lives even more.

How do you get your children interested in reading?

Today we made our weekly trip to the library.  We have been going now for about three years to whichever library was closest to wherever we lived.  We always have a huge stash of library books, return about half of them, (the ones that have already been read one too many times,) and then replace them with a pile of books which I had placed on hold the week before.

I love doing holds because we end up with much higher quality books than we do when we just browse and wing it.  Besides, it makes it far less stressful for me; I let the girls sit and look at books and play with toys without any pressure to find so many books before my blood sugar starts giving out on me or C gets lost wandering through the library.

My favorite part of library day usually looks something like this:

It never fails to entirely delight me the way that R can't get enough of all these new books.  She will sit and read for hours the day we restock our library collection.  It's a beautiful thing.  :)

When we first began frequenting the library when R was about one, I began checking out every ABC book they had.  Her attention span was short, but I knew how important it was to read to her every day, so I figured these books were perfect!  She could pay attention to one or two letters per page and be soaking up precious info at the same time.

Little did I know that doing so would result in her knowing all the letter names by the time she was 18 months and all the letter sounds shortly thereafter. She now reads fluently anything she can get her hands on. She is still surprising me though.  Just the other day I discovered that she can read silently and still retain everything!

Needless to say, though I knew there was no guarantee of this miracle working more than once, I decided to give C every chance I gave R, and we have continued checking out all the ABC books.  It turns out that C loves learning her letters too, and knows almost all of them and some of the sounds.  It gives me some degree of confidence that it wasn't just a fluke and that what I am doing matters.

I love reading and knowing that it is foundational to any great education has given me a great deal of motivation to make it a priority in our home.  So we fill our home with books, I read my own books in front of the girls, we let them read or look at books in bed as they fall asleep, we read to them every night, I read classics to them during the day, and we go to the library every week.  ;)