1. Pattern your home school exactly after the public school model.
2. Spend lots of money. Make sure to buy every shiny new curricula that happens to catch your eye and every gimmicky uni-tasker toy you can find.
3. Make it complicated. Attempt to cover every possible subject matter in perfect chronological and/or sequential order whether your child shows any interest or not.
4. Plan things so extensively that you have 100% structure and 0% flexibility.
5. Have a specific and rigid school time and refuse to do anything school or learning related outside of that designated school time. You're a very busy person after all.
6. Teach your child what the government says is good for them, not what they are actually interested in or passionate about.
7. Only have your child do school in the designated school room, sitting in his or her desk for the several hours of school time. Don't foolishly suppose your child can learn in the family room or *gasp* outside.
8. Keep your child strictly within his or her grade level by age. If they fall behind, push them to catch up, and do not by any means allow them to skip ahead!
9. Alternatively you could stay completely out of things altogether and leave your child entirely to his or her own devices, because certainly they don't need you to get involved at all in their education.
10. Do everything yourself. You are super homeschool mom. You don't need any help whatsoever to educate your kids perfectly!
